Summary
The fantasy genre is beautiful and fascinating, but it has as much horror as wonder, and Tolkien’sTheLord of the Ringssaga revealed just how terrifying a fantasy world can be. This is a realm of fairy tales and monsters where the worst of everyone’s nightmares can come true and often does.
It might be fun to say that Middle-earth would be a fun place to live, but there are plenty of locations inThe Lord of the Ringsfranchise that would be just as terrible. Not everyonehas a house in Bag Endor Rivendell, and Middle-earth has some of the worst places to live in the history of the fantasy genre.
7Esgaroth, East Rhovanian
Dragons, Dwarves, And Broken Promises
It’sbetter known by the modern name, Lake-town, which is the city that was rebuilt on the ruins of Esgaroth after Smuag destroyed both it and Erebor. In Bilbo’s time, both locations were more commonly known as Lake-town and the Lonely Mountain.
Being next to a dragon’s lair isn’t the only thing that makes Esgaroth one of the worst places in Middle-earth to live. Other issues include the fragile boom-and-bust economy that’s almost entirely dependent on the nearby Dwarven kingdom of Erebor and the nearby Wood Elves who are mostly hostile unless they’re trading wine. Even after the dragon was defeated, Lake-town was squeezedbetween several hostile powers, and that meant not only Elves and Dwarves but also Orcs.
6Bree, Eriador
The Unfriendly Small Town
For the most part, this corner of Eriador, known as Bree-land, is a lush and friendly region filled with small towns and amiable residents, but not every small town is quaint and friendly. Bree is one of those cities that’s too small to have certain handy amenities, like a postal or messenger service, but it’s just big enough to be dirty and dangerous.
Despite the locals extolling how well Hobbits and Men-folk get along, there are a lot of snide and outright rude comments to be heard from both sides, even among so-called friendly locals like tavern-keeper Butterbur. The roads are in terrible shape, and there are few transport hubs that travelers or commuters can rely on, with the Buckleberry Ferry and the Brandywine Bridge being two glaring examples.
5Edoras, Rohan
Bleak And Cold, But The View Is Nice
Bundle up, take some photos, and enjoy a roaring fire and some local nettle soup, but don’t stay too long. The empty valleysand cold peaks of Rohancan blunt the spirit of the bravest adventurer. It’s easy to see why the lack of bright colors, sunlight, boredom, and crushing solitude almost drove Emowyn out of her mind.
Rohan is the seat of the king and the biggest city in the region, so it’s got the same starry nights and frosty wind of a small town with none of the charm. Having this location on an elevated position is wise from a strategic point of view, and it looks good in a picture, but for those living there, it’s a more difficult battle against the elements as opposed to a cluster of homes at ground level.
4Minas Tirith, Gondor
In The Shadow Of Mordor
Imagine there was an opulent mansion for sale at a very low price because despite its luxurious and tasteful architecture, it was in a bad neighborhood. Minis Tirith is like a house that was built in generations past when the area was more upscale, but time and hardship have taken their toll.
Even though it’s a lovely city, it’s one of the worst places in Middle-earth to live. The original design might have been for a stunning view of the valley, the river, and the cities of Minas Ithil and Osgiliath in their prime, but now residents have to look daily at the former riverside town as a charred ruin and the smoldering darkness of Minas Morgul.
Not only is it demoralizing, but the location and residents of Minas Tirith make it a prime target for the dark forces of Sauron, and should the city be attacked the residents don’t have the option of running away. The open plain between the city walls and the River Anduin ensures no path or hiding place, leaving everyone at the mercy of the city walls and the protection of the Steward of Gondor.
3The Sea of Núrnen, Mordor
In Actual Mordor
The Mordor that’s depicted in the movies and described in the books is a wasteland, without even the basics of water and farmland. However,there is a region of Mordorwhere there’s a lake and some limited farming is possible, as unpleasant as it may be.
If there’s farmland to work and an army to feed, there are farmers there, but it must be one of the worst places in Middle-earth. The steady clouds of volcanic ash that fill the sky most of the time might be great for the soil, but not for any living being that has to breathe it in every day.
2Mirkwood, Rhovanion
Not Even The Wood Elves Seemed To Like It
It used to be a much happier place called the Greenwood, but the shadow of Mordor also grew over it as the Third Age came to a close. Treebeard tells part of the story of how the trees in Mirkwood turned silent and angry and when the giant spiders infested the hollows and branches. It’s a sad and chilling tale.
There’s a reason that the Wood Elves liked their wine so much, and using it to forget that they lived in such a dreary place was only part of it. The Greenwood was once so beautiful, or so the Elves claim, until strange darkness corrupted it, and in their despair, they turned to a popular import from a nearby but foreign culture.
1Dorwinion, Rhûn
Tricksy Politics, Dark Magic, And A Nice Dry Red
When it comes to climate and culture, most of Rhûn doesn’t seem that bad at first. The coastline of the Sea of Rhûn is described in a way that makes it sound like the Mediterranean, a place of wine, olives, and fruit. The Elves of Mirkwood, which is just to the northeast, are steady customers for many of their consumable products.
However, it’s the politics of Dorwinionthat make it a difficult placeto live, with leaders that often side with Dark Lords and fight with each other. This is the region where the Easterlings came from, who fought against the kings of Gondor on behalf of Sauron, and unlike the western border with Gondor there’s no high mountain chain to hide Dorwinion from Morder on the western side.
